I get the feeling I am not so popular among the Metro Y summer camp staff at our clubhouse, the Ridgehouse.

We have been attending now for just over three weeks and I am paying attention and thus seeing not to mention hearing things at home and calling them on things.

Let’s see, since we have started going to the kid’s camp with kids up to 12 years old, he is bringing home a new level of tiredness brought on with a new level of nastiness. Going off topic now but still related. Two nights ago he punched mom in the stomach because he didn’t want to come inside and go to bed. We have set an 8 o’clock curfew with an 8:30 bed time, anyway, he does not try his antics with me; only mom. So much to the point, after getting socked in the gut she grabbed her keys and left saying and I quote, “I don’t need this shit”. Not knowing when or if she would return, I continued to try and harness the monster and did after he took and flung the bathroom waste can into the hallway.

I figured I would pick it up later and continue to wrangle him in, I grabbed him with a hand around each bicep and picked him up and carried him to bed and he said stop it you’re hurting me. I told him that whenever he gets him like this I am going to grab and carry him this way. Two reasons:

1. My personal safety, when I try to move him like you carry a kid normally, I get kneed in the crotch.
2. I can control him for the reason that he is in a compromising position because I have his arms, he cannot grab at corners or railings or box me in the ears as he has done his mom.

I got him to bed that night and after him whimpering and explaining that his mom was now gone and I didn’t know if she would be back or not. I told him I love him and it is hard when he gets like this and I will always be there for him and not leave him. I got him a sleep in three minutes after I was done explaining to him what he had done because he still wanted mom. Battle one was now a sleep.

Mom showed back up talking loud and still upset. I agreed with what she said and told her she has a lot of explaining to do to our son because he thinks you are now gone forever. She said why should she have to explain anything? I told her, he thinks you are gone forever and I don’t know if that was the right move or not but you need to reassure him whenever you see him again. She went to bed and was asleep in minutes. He woke up yesterday and called me to his room and when I walked in he asked “did mom come home this morning?” I said yes but she had left for work already. We got dressed and off to camp thirty minutes later.

Back on topic now. Last week he was getting tattoos drawn on him by the older kids with Magic Marker, not just little marks but big black wide arrows pointing down his arms and legs. I showed up the next day and told Miss Brigid the camp director; I was concerned about who was really in charge there, the ladies or the older kids. She assured me not so assuredly that they were in charge and why do you ask? I explained the tattoo issue and the behavior issue and brought up the nasty language he now uses after listening to the older kids. She said she does not stand for any of that when she is there and she is only there ½ the day, the other camp leader has had power issues in the past. I said it sounds like you need to talk to Lizzie and get her focused on being the person in charge and not their best friend anymore.

So far this week, things have been better, Miss Brigid is there all day and no sign of Lizzie, don’t know if she was canned or not and really don’t care, but things are better.

I told Dakota last night after another bedtime power struggle that was much tamer by the way, that there was no camp next week, we are taking a week off before Kindergarten starts the week of the 11^th. He said OK, I told him we would bike and swim as long as he was nice to his mom; otherwise it was going to be a long week for both of us staying inside. We really hated putting him back in camp this week, but I had a meeting in Denver yesterday on a project I am involved in and I wanted to give the Y staff another chance as everything else we have been involved with has been top notch!

Then this morning was another field trip and I asked Miss Brigid if they were going to watch the kids and make sure they only did age appropriate things at Jungle Quest and she said they would as she rolled her eyes.

One last comment:

I hope the Y see this as a referral hit in their stats and addresses the way Miss Briget dresses and makes her put a bra on when at work!

I though I better post something to
keep it fresh here.

My kid is in an all day, 5 day a week Y sponsored day camp going on two weeks now and I am free for the first time in five years!  I am not entirely sure with what to do with myself!

I get up daily at 5:30 or 6 and get and get my 1st 31 minutes of cardio in, roust the kid at 7 so we can get our day rolling and ride to the clubhouse by 7:30 for kids club which does field trips twice a week; then I go for 30 minute bike ride, get home update my food/fitness spreadsheets and do another 31 minutes of elipitical.  Ride to the pool by 9:15 so I can read more of my new book Jimmy Buffett’s Swine Not? A Novel Pig Tale and then watch my son’s swim lesson.  I do another 15-30 minutes of biking, get home and shower, eat and check into my blogosphere, and today actually post!  I have been lazy because after lunch I do a 30 to 120 minute nap but today I feel refreshed! 

Hopefully my bud Joeprah has his PC woes under control and is back on line soon!  I am glad it’s you and finally not me!

Please let me know via comments if the camera phone photo above right does not show publicly!  Is it just me, or is Jimmy looking, er, well,  relaxed?  That is not what you’d think I was asking was it? 

This pirate here will be looking at 50 soon as well!    

Sorry readers if you visited 07/15 during the day and got some mumbo jumbo sql error.  I tried an upgrade that failed miserably, good thing I backed ‘er up!  So now onto my regularly scheduled rants, raves or whatever!

This public service message was brought to you courtesy of MileHighDad’s next recent post.

Why is it that when the battery dies in your home smoke detector it always happens late at night in the kids room?

Why can’t they put a onetime per battery voltage snooze alarm button on this life saving device so when the battery does start that evil chirp reminder that it is now time to change the batteries so it does not become a full family event regardless the time?

Why can’t they program the dang thing so that when it does start that irritating chirp so the light that flashes to show it is operating properly shine continuously red when it chirps so you can easily find the offender and replace it’s battery first so it’s not a game of roulette finding and replacing the battery?

Why does the smoke detector have to go off when reconnecting the primary power source? Wouldn’t a solid red light ran by the battery be enough warning it’s not connected properly?

Why can’t they have battery backup using a NICAD battery that last more than 8-11 months before the incessant chirping starts?

I have replaced batteries before with half on my fleet using Duracell and the other half with Energizer and have found the Energizer fails first and Duracell rules! FYI, so if your batteries will not make one year till the time change in day light savings as recommended you can use the battery with the longest life.

You can’t live without them so why don’t the manufacturers cut the end user a bit of slack!

I just searched HomeDept.com before publishing this and found the same old detector in a wide range of prices.

Smoke detectors save lives and it’s agreed you need them; this At Home Dad as consumer, think it’s time to upgrade the technology!

We have put men on the moon, are computerized and deserve more from this lifesaving device!

It was totally awesome! I took my son to his first day camp (read: his 1^st all day solo adventures without me) for the day after dragging myself outta bed thinking I would rebound after my first Cup-O-Joe, then I would be good to go. Not so, my legs grew increasingly heavy after a night of dead tired non-sleep on my Select Comfort bed where my sleep number was jacked up so high it hurt, done by a set of little hands when visiting his sick mom over the weekend. I had wishfully hoped I would fall asleep regardless but at 4AM I got up and flicked the lightswitch activated outlet on so I could digitally deflate my side down to a 30.

I fell back asleep and slept soundly till I forced myself up to make his camp lunch at 7, then bam, bam, bam, my 5 YO up at 7:15, him pooped and pee’d by 7:30 and on our bikes headed for the clubhouse by 7:35 for a ten minute ride to camp. Got him checked in with Ms. Lizzie and I am back home by 8. Mission accomplished!

I sat there watching my high def programming for 15 minutes when I decided to fire up the AC and button the place shut so I could take a nap at 8:20 in the morning.

I cranked my sleep number down to 25 and was oblivious to anything for 5 whole hours! Well, that nap lasted till 2PM, and then I had to shower quickly so I could make a research meeting I had at 4 in Denver. I had to rub it in to the lady scientists I work with that I got to sleep ALL DAY TODAY and I feel good!

Not since my son has been born have I been able to wake up, tend to a minimal kindergartener chore list and be back in bed to sleep the day away and I deserved it! Imagine, waking up because you are not sleepy and there are no demands being needed.

I have not had any time where I had to do nothing but sleep since he was born, there was always something somewhere, and doing nothing was all too sweet!

Tomorrow is another day of camp but I think I need to get something done domestically for the day so stay tuned to this Blog channel!

So Wednesday I think it was Mom and my son went to Target to buy him some golf clubs while I tried to find piece mowing the lawns. They got back before I was finished with a 60 dollar – 6 piece graphite set in a free standing bag with backpack style shoulder straps for $60.00 dollars American. Then he got a pack of 12 Whiffle style orange golf balls. First some 5YO ugliness then onto golf and photos.

Then the wheels of my life came off and my spare was already in use and it has been ugly around here, because HE KNOWS ALL and is arguing anything and everything with me and his mom. It seemed to all start after his tantrum and demonstration I just Blogged about so I set a rule to live by “You don’t argue with us and if you do, the answer is automatically no and we turn around right now and go home no matter what.” This has worked well until yesterday after our first outing to the driving range to hit golf balls. After he got the basics on stance and grip, I could tell him no more because he knew it all! To make a non-story even shorter, he didn’t get his McDonalds meal because he argued with me about not going inside and would take no for an answer and yelled at me all the way home at the top of his lungs, pleasant! We got home his golf clubs spent the day in time-out and he spent the next hour there as well; he wanted to show his friends his clubs after time-out but no, they were still in time-out. Enough said about reliving the ugliness of yesterday.

Today was a new day and Mom was not sick so she could go see him swat golf balls at Red Hawk and I hoped the ensuing ugliness would not reappear today, but it did try to rear its ugly head when I quashed it. Now onto the better things of today!

This kid has game! Not only was he hitting longer, he was hitting it straighter as well and, he remembered what I showed him yesterday! So he hit balls Mom hit Balls and I got to hit balls because somebody left a full bucket on the empty range so naturally I felt it was my duty to spray the range with golf balls. I hit some shots that I couldn’t believe came from my swing and then there were the other shots, more my style!

So all in all, it was a good day at the range once I got Dakota to stop driving balls with his Putter because he knew all about the game. He now wants to get a golf cart and go out on the course but I said after your lesson next year and you can hit the ball enough to empty a bucket of balls without losing interest, then I got an, OK Dad.

And they day guidance played on and the monster tried to reappear but was squished! Not sure if I am a bad-ass or a dad-ass I Blogged about earlier! This past weekend was good but had moments I want to forget!

Weighed in this morning, 152.5 pounds!  That puts me with 8 ounces of 50 pounds gone since January 1.  I used to pack the weight of this fish with me everywhere I go and not blink twice!  Well, maybe not blink twice, but instead gasping for air.  Not me in the photo.

Lovely isn’t it? I get called this when my 5YO son gets really mad at me, otherwise I am just a Butt Crack when he isn’t really steaming at me but still mad at something I did.

Case in point, just now on our way home from his morning at the clubhouse swimming, jamming with Mark on the Tumble Boogie and being a part of the Y sponsored Kids Club, oh and we did the playground for 5 minutes before riding the bike path through the tunnel home. He decided after getting to the top of the hill after the tunnel he was thirsty. I did not bring a water bottle because it’s only an 8 minute ride, door to clubhouse door. He remembered he had a diet Pepsi in his Go Diego Go lunchbox inside the Coz and wanted it now, I said how about at the corner? The corner was 100 feet away and further away from what I guessed to be a mom who was doing yard work in her in her front yard by the Barbie toys in the garage; I did not want the usual At Home Dad sucker comments that these kinds of situations bring on. Phrases like, “oh, is it your day with the kids” or “where’s Mom, you got your hands full” type of remarks.

I calmly pedaled my bike and Bob Coz Trailer to the corner while the insults started to rain down on me; I leaned my bike on it on its kickstand, took my helmet off, put my visor on as the effort at insulting me continued. I gazed over at the mom doing yard work and realized she had taken an interest at what was transpiring on the street so I figured I got to play this good!

I took his pop can out of his lunch box, closed the trailer and set the can on the lid and yelled over to him, “here is your pop when you get thirsty it’s right here” and went and sat down on the curb; upon hearing this he yelled back “you’re a Poopy butt crack and I want my Pepsi here by this white Toyota truck” as I sat there not even ruffled because I had nothing but time and I was not going to lose. For being 5 years old, he sure knows his truck makes and models but that is no reason for me to relent to his demands.

At this point, I calmly got up picked up his soda and put it in my water bottle holder and yelled to him, “I am going home, you’re not thirsty and it’s too hot to play your games AND your bike is in a time out till tomorrow.” I then got on my bike without looking his way and rode around the corner, turned around and stopped out of sight of the vexing attitude. He was screaming out of exasperation as he pedaled his bike around the corner, and when he saw me he stopped threw his bike down and ripped his helmet off and bounced it off the asphalt. I said OK, you are walking home and loaded his bike onto the trailer top knowing full well he was going to interfere after I snapped his helmet to my bike pack and started to walk off pushing our bikes and my trailer. He stepped in and pulled his bike off the trailer while kicking me in the shin. I popped him on the buttocks through his nylon soccer shorts with a pop that had not hurt all the while explaining you do not kick people when you are upset or you get spanks. He was now crying, out of pain or frustration, I am not sure but I think it was out of frustration as the spank was loud but not forceful.

To give in a bit, I gave him his soda which he opened, put his helmet on and fastened it. He took his bike back and then wanted me to carry his Pepsi so he could ride but I wouldn’t. I stopped just out of reach in the street and said “if you want me to carry it, bring it here” as I held out an out stretched arm for it. He held his arm out like it was a big burden while saying “I’m not allowed in the street” which he knew was a charade because we have been practicing riding single file close to the curb. I conceded and took the step required to exchange the soda, dumped half in the gutter so it did not spill on my in the holder as I told him to mount up and ride.

I escorted him to our corner, making sure he was across and riding the concrete slab home and took off at my speed to our garage. I calmly opened the garage door when he pulled in and parked. I moved my bike in after giving him what was left of his soda, which wasn’t much, and then he headed inside to watch TV in the AC. I gathered my gear placed it near the door so as not to forget it and gathered his bike up. I placed his bike up and out of reach for the rest of the day and headed inside while not saying anything about his bikes status.

Just now he walked over to me when I was typing this and he said “sorry Dad for being ugly outside” and I said you sure were, and your bike is still in time out till tomorrow. He said OK and went to play trucks in the cool AC.

So it just goes to show you, this butt crack can remain calm and cool even in the deep poop!

I don’t know if this was the right way to handle this or not but with an audience, I had to play it cool and didn’t back down, well not too much anyway!

RELEASE AND WAIVER OF LIABILITY, ASSUMPTION OF RISK AND INDEMNITY AGREEMENT

I have been advised of and fully understand the inherent risks associated with the SAID BUSINESS programs and events. On behalf of me, my child, and our respective heirs and assigns, hereby release, and agree to hold harmless, the SAID BUSINESS it’s respective parents, subsidiaries, affiliates, directors, officers, employees, owners, players and all agents (collectively, the “Released Parties”) from any and all claims, liabilities, and losses that relate in any way to any injury (including death) to my child’s person or property. I (i) have read this Release, (ii) understand its content, (iii) am over the age of 18, (iv) am my child’s parent or guardian, (v) sign this Release voluntarily on my child’s behalf and intend for it to be legally binding, and (vi) acknowledge that I have had an opportunity and was advised to seek guidance from counsel regarding this Release and blah, blah, blah…

The bold and underlined sentence is pretty heavy isn’t it? How often do you, as a responsible adult/parent, just blow by this text and click OK or Submit? In essence you are releasing them from any wrong doing negligent or not, even death! In essence, signing your kid’s life away!  Go ahead and we’ll do what we want but hey, we’re not responsible because you said OK!

Do you think if something happened the courts would uphold this disclaimer? What if SAID BUSINESS willfully let your kids play in the street and they got run over; by clicking OK or submit or whatever you are letting them off the hook for being a responsible provider for your kids.
But you signed this by clicking OK so it’s not our problem your kid got hurt or died!

Think long and hard the next time you are presented with a release on the web about what it is saying, “(collectively, the “Released Parties”) from any and all claims, liabilities, and losses that relate in any way to any injury (including death) to my child’s person or property. “

Scares me!

Welcome Hubber’s you know who you are, here is the slideshow of the days events at Rhyolite Park.